We Only Grow Through Discomfort

Little good comes from comfort, though we strive for it, plan for it, and even wonder what's wrong when we don't get it. But can we grow, ever, if we remain comfortable? Can we maximize our potential if we are never willing to stretch or be stretched?

It is common knowledge that any development at all, be it physical, mental, relational, spiritual, financial or emotional requires discomfort, difficulty, even suffering, be that willingly engaged or foisted upon us by circumstance or consequences.

When I run the mountain trails, I am reminded that the development of my aerobic system and muscular strength has only come through consistent difficulty, leveling up with a little suffering so that I can grow.  Achieving proper growth requires a proper amount of "stretch," so that my body adapts without breaking down but also grows because it's moved beyond it's current levels of fitness. Progressive overload, it's called. But make no mistake, there are days when getting up there requires mental and physical perseverance on a level of discomfort many aren't willing to accept, and that's where growth occurs.

Growth only comes through discomfort.

When I am learning a new language, my brain feels overloaded, streeeeeeeetched, even aching with the effort to understand and articulate what still feels like gibberish to me. It's easier to pass it by, but I know (and polyglots all over assure us of this!) that if I will continue to push through the confusion, discomfort, and ignorance of my target language, I will slowly understand more and more. That ache represents the creation of new neural pathways, and showing up and working at it is the only way forward in language learning.

Similarly, in order to grow emotionally, I must be willing to endure internal discomfort, sometimes of a level more intense than anything physical or mental. When we've noticed simmering resentment or harsh responses or relational withdrawal, it is our natural (dare I say, almost given) reaction to deny, ignore, distract, or slide past what we are experiencing in favor of something--anything!--less uncomfortable.

If we are to become more healthy and whole, internally and relationally, we must engage ourselves in an uncomfortable quest for healing and growth. And this might be the hardest of all. Truth is, I'd rather push hard up a mountain or recite German's impossible der/die/das till the Kuhe comes home than to endure emotional discomfort. But while discomfort feels anathema to the soul, it is fact the only path to wholeness and healing.

If you want to grow, in anything, seek the path of discomfort. Learn to endure. Do hard things. Place yourself in a position where you must stretch, must reach, must sweat, must squirm, for it is only in the suffering we will grow, only in the ache we will expand, only in the darkness we will begin to see the light.